Grandparents Apart UK
The government is so against giving grandparents automatic legal rights to their grandchildren which I must confess we started out trying for but were getting all kinds of grief from parents.
The government at the time pointed out that it would cause more problems than it would resolve. We have listened to the government and with that in mind we looked for a compromise to bring families together rather than drive them apart.
The Charter for Grandchildren does not give grandparents any rights at all and does not interfere with the parent’s control of the child in any way but still ensures the children have the right to the best that their grandparents can offer if there is no real reason not to or an explanation why they are not included. The miserable rate they pay grandparents must save the council a fortune against foster care payments so why not use them?.
It could be said what we are asking for is already covered elsewhere but they need to be focussed for they are too spread apart for anyone to take notice of or find them.
In our experience the social services with their attitude towards grandparents has caused this conflict in the family ( See the Forgotten Children) which obviously must incur greater cost when grandparents fight to protect their grandchildren in drug and alcohol homes. They need to allay the fear and despair that children feel by letting them know they are not abandoned altogether. By being irrelevant persons it sends a signal to parents that there is a good reason to attend mediation. Children are losing out on so much because of this.
My colleagues and I have spoken to heads of social workers and told them about what goes on and they have said “oh dear, Oh my, this should not happen. It is obvious to us that the heads do not know or they turn a blind eye to the workers tricks on the shop floor. It would appear it is ok to tell lies as long as they say the magic phrase “in the best interests of the child” but it is actually in the social services best interests.
They lie about meetings having taken place and tell kids that their family does not want to see them (see attached) and vice versa. The social services say they look to grandparents first which our Grandparents are reporting is not the case. Grandparents are afraid to contact social services if they suspect child neglect or abuse and they try to deal with it themselves.
We advise against this. The reason being they are often the first to lose complete contact with the child/ren altogether as social services tell them “we don’t need to speak to you” In a crises if grandparents cannot take the kids they are told that they will probably be adopted and will never see them again.
Children brought up in the care system are very often non-achievers and are very badly traumatised by the loss of their family it is the worst thing that can happen to a young child. They learn more about drugs and crime in care and turn to gangs for the need to be wanted.
Last night I heard on the telly if a parents suspect their child is part of a gang, report it. Is this so the authorities can say it is the parents fault to make up a list of family reported incidents and ignore the products of the care system?
The main members of gangs are children who have had no stability in their lives or treated like a commodity as something to be disposed of by social services as quickly as possible to save money. In the long run saving money like this is building up for more cost when they are older.
A child who is treated right with all the love and stability of their family are the good citizens of the future or if treated like they are at present are surely the thugs that don’t let you sleep in your bed peacefully at night.